What My Dog Taught Me About Leadership
I’ve finally had the chance to gather my thoughts and reflections from my first long drive to Amsterdam with Coco. You might have seen him hovering behind me in some calls, podcast episodes or in some pictures with our team at LIVEsciences. If you haven‘t, here he is and his lovely smile.
I‘ve grown up with dogs, but nothing could have prepared me for this relationship that blossoms so beautifully everyday. I have collected a few learnings from raising Coco (for the parents, you might say it is similar to raising kids, too!) and as I think about my work with individuals, leaders and organisations, I find a semblance of reality in the sense of how I could be more effective and impactful as a leader. Let me count the ways!
Disclaimer: This is not an attempt to compare humans to animals, rather an appreciation of how we can be more human in our relationships.
Stewardship Over Ownership
I’ve always believed that we are all here to outwork a mission individually and to serve a purpose collectively. In training with Coco, I learned that it‘s very important to veer away from thinking that I own him, and to really channel my stance as a steward. With that mindset, it also means recognising that it is my duty to create the right environment (and sense of safety) that will allow him to develop good habits and behaviours.
If I apply stewardship in my day to day (work) life, it immediately puts me in a mindset of enablement and in a position of generosity, to channel understanding and care. Owners have rights, stewards have responsibilities. This slightly nuanced embodiment of how I show up as a leader has constantly invited me to work with intention, to develop and to enjoy what has been entrusted to my care.
To Be More Relational Than Transactional
Dogs (and animals in general) are very emotional creatures and that’s what makes them so connected with humans. Establishing a good relationship of trust is foundational in building confidence and safetyIt is not enough to teach Coco commands and tricks and expect him to follow robotically. Dogs pick up on our energies and can sense when we genuinely want to have fun together, and not simply to check a routine off really comes through. And so do humans!
Tapping into our positive relational attributes as leaders is crucial. How we come across in our tone, our actions and our verbal and non-verbal communication goes further in galvanizing relationships. It helps with influencing, inspiring and creating a sense of psychological safety and belonging with the people around us. We not only draw people close, but we also help unlock creativity and unleash potential in others by simply validating and allowing them to feel seen and heard in our interactions.
The Power of Rhythms, Rituals and Positive Reinforcement
Rhythms and rituals sound boring, and yet they don’t always have to be mechanical. Dogs (as well as humans!) are creatures of habit so this structure is so important to create margins for the fun surprises. The early days of training for safety and obedience have certainly paid off. In developing habits, psychologists have long studied and affirmed the power of positive reinforcement to condition behaviours, and this certainly applies to both animals and humans.
I have learned from Coco that the more I reward and appreciate his good behaviour, with treats or words of affirmation, the quicker I get to having predictable responses. Once it becomes a habit, there is a certain ease in our relationship and communication. This increases my confidence, for example, that I can keep him safe in more complex situations like walking off-the-leash in a busy environment.
By openly verbalizing impact through good feedback, we help others shape the habits we want to see and experience. This also creates consistency and increases stability and predictability in the work environment, and thus open up room to adapt and embody new changes that may be needed along the way. This is why nudging is such a successful change enabler.
Exercising Empathy as a Core Strength
Empathy is key in building relationships. Coco is incredibly attuned to my moods and knows when I am happy, when I am anxious and when I am physically unwell. As a leader, it is important to show empathy towards others, and to let them know we understand their feelings, moods and perspectives. Empathic leaders have immense capacity to build stronger relationships with their team and create a positive and supportive work environment.
Trust as a Foundation
Be it in personal or professional relationships, trust is one that requires a lot of work and the fertile soil that allows many things to blossom. I learned that with my daily interaction with Coco, trusting him also means enabling and creating the right environment for him to trust me. It is a two way street where the end result can come in many forms, but one that is most certain is the value of loyalty. We need to cultivate loyalty by building a trust-based relationship that can withstand turbulence and challenges of any kind. It’s not easy, it requires effort, patience and practice, but it’s all worth it in the end.
Originally published on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-my-dog-has-taught-me-leadership-rhea-ongyiu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_ios&utm_campaign=share_via
